Co-authored by Tharien van Eck and members of the FAWCO Elder Care Team (Margaret Hilditch, Julien McKinney-Young, Christine Riney, Sylvia Wallach Squire, Anitra Klitts, Shelly Schoeneshoefer, Rozanne Van Rie and Leslie Janoe)
The decision has been made to relocate, and a perfect new home has been found. But suddenly, there is the realization that your new home will be smaller and that you need to downsize. Sleepless nights, separation anxiety, guilt feelings…and more. Does this all sound familiar to you?
How is this done? Where do you start? How do you do this without losing your heart and soul? This was/is my dilemma. We are moving to a slightly smaller apartment, and I have to sort through a lifetime of accumulated stuff! Books, my mom’s beautiful needlework, crockery, cutlery, glasses, photos, electrical appliances and cords, and so the list continues.
I decided to ask the question in the FAWCO Elder Care WhatsApp group, and in a short period of time, received wonderful encouragement and support. The content shared here is a compilation of the advice offered by my co-authors.
- Make lists – keep vs. discard items.
- Make a list of “no question” items.
- Ask, does it fit?
- Ask, does it have a purpose?
- Ask, am I willing to “sacrifice” one item over another?
And know, regardless of how well you think you have handled the sorting, accept that not everything can make the move with you. And that you will look back and feel a bittersweet pang once in a while when you remember the items that you gave away.
- Ask your children if they would like anything. Which I did, and was surprised that they indeed wanted a few select pieces.
- Make a list of precious items, items for functional needs and things that are not needed or necessary for life in a new home. Be aware that this may change from day to day!
- The easy one: itemize furniture that will find a place in your new home. If necessary, use a floor plan and place furniture in its future place.
- Look at no-question items and the remaining items. Reach out and touch each item and ask yourself: would I give up an item of my other household goods to take this item? (For example: would I feel happier giving away a painting I bought with my husband so I could hang one of mom’s tapestries?)
- Remembering is so important to all of us. Things are just that… perhaps taking pictures of the items you choose to re-home will keep those precious memories close.
- Where possible, choose special homes for special items. We recently “re-homed” some items with family and friends. It feels good knowing that they wanted them, that they are being used, and loved.
- If it’s your goal to clean things out, and provide information on the rest, therefore not being a burden on your children or family, be kind to yourself! This is not an easy process.
- Words of wisdom: these decisions are tough and they do speak to retaining our heart and soul. Objects are memory holders. Keep what you want for now. Go back later to review. I think moving is a tough time to sort and toss with the time pressure of making the move. Keep one thing from each person who has been a part of your life as a representation, and let the other objects go.
Technology may help you. The Wall Street Journal published an interesting article, “Have Heirlooms You Want to Pass Down? Make Your Kids Download This App,” that’s worth reading. It describes some apps that might be useful in the sorting and cataloguing process, especially if you want stories to be shared along with the item.
- Thingealogy: take a photo of a special item, record it and tell the story of the item. Involve the family in this.
- Sortly: although developed as an inventory tool for small businesses, it can also be used to make an inventory of special items. It has a free and paid version.
- Elephant Trax: this app helps you to track what is in storage.
Listed below are a few additional articles of interest:
- Tips For Downsizing And Decluttering Before A Move
- Downsizing Before a Move: Tips to Organize and Declutter
- 9 top tips to help you downsize and declutter
Remember, our children would like to hear about our families and the family history, perhaps just not now! Make time to record what’s special to you, because it also may be special to your children and grandchildren.