Jane Gross, a journalist with The New York Times, writes a blog under the heading The New Old Age, Caring and Coping (http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/ ). Based on her and her brother's experience in caring for their elderly mother between 2002 and 2003, Ms. Gross asks and tries to provide answers to questions that few of us are prepared for when our parents, or even other close loved ones, fall ill and we find ourselves in the role of caretakers.
As Ms. Goss says in introducing the blog, she intends "for it to be a source of information and community for grown children faced with these new responsibilities, for the elderly adjusting to unwelcome limitations and dependency, to employers interested in easing the burden, for professionals in the field and for anyone else who wants to chime in. Whining is permitted. Wisdom, and humor, are especially welcome.
"But most of all, I hope you will tell me, and each other, what problems you face and how you have solved them; what changes in American health care policy, in the workplace and in the community would make your lives easier; what has surprised and inspired you: and how your family has changed, for better or for worse, as a result of this intergenerational experience."
Just a few of the issues she and her brother faced were:
What costs do entitlement programs, such as Medicare, cover? A partial answer to that is that Medicare doesn't cover the cost of home care or assisted living or a nursing home.
What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of hiring companions and aides through agencies or word of mouth? For example, some agency aides need permission from a supervisor before picking up a charge if he/she falls.
What about hospital discharge planning? And geriatric medicine? Or the fact that emergency rooms and intensive care units can cause a form of psychosis in the elderly, or that a catheter can lead to an undiagnosed urinary tract infection and even death?
A few more things they learned about were Medicaid spend-down, continuing care retirement communities, in-hospital versus out-of-hospital do-not-resuscitate orders, Hoyer lifts, "pre-need consultants" who handle advance payment for the funerals of people who aren't dead yet, or "feeders" whose job it is to spoon pureed food into the mouths of once-dignified men and women.
Other questions they fielded were: How to find a reliable home health aide. What should you look for in an assisted living community? How long is the waiting list at top-notch nursing homes? How onerous is the paperwork for applying for Medicaid? Is it worth spending money for the guidance of a geriatric case manager? How do you persuade a parent that it is no longer safe to drive, or that the time has come for live-in help at home? What can be done about siblings who don't carry their weight? Or about siblings who disagree over end-of-life or financial decisions?
Ms Gross encourages readers to contribute comments, sources, and experiences to the blog, and there are several links to sites offering specific information regarding many issues, as well as archives of other blogs.
Source: http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/01/our-parents-ourselves
