The Human Rights Team is continuing our focus on gender-based violence (GBV) in the workplace in connection with the 16 Days Campaign. The Team’s emphasis for the Campaign revolves around an attempt to address the roots of GBV, in the workplace or otherwise, including the effect of gender expectations. As a reminder, we are recommending that groups and individuals view two films by The Representation Project, Miss Representation and The Mask You Live In, addressing this topic. In January, we posted Facebook posts related to these issues on the FAWCO and FAUSA Facebook pages for 16 Days. In this article we summarize the posts and seek to tie them together.
One of the important points about gender norms is that they not only can lead to violence against women, but they also present challenges and negative consequenses for both males AND females. Accordingly, we tried in our first post to frame the rest of the resources to come with a poem by Nidhi Chaitanya, The Men I Meet and Love, illustrating that the quest for gender equality is not a war against men but rather a quest in which men can and should be partners and benefit from doing so. An extensive study by the International Center for Research on Women, in collaboration with Cartier Philanthropy, details the extent and importance of male involvement in the gender equity movement including on topics such as gender-based violence and contains a section on positive masculinities. Promundo, an organization that “aims to prevent gender-based violence and violence against children by working to change the harmful norms that perpetuate these practices" strives to establish “best practices for engaging men in the prevention of sexual and gender-based violence.” Watch and share their very short video on Raising Boys to Be Men Who Care. Voices of Men also has a list of 11 Things Men Can Do to end sexual assault and domestic violence. And share a succinct list of 7 Ways Men Can Be Better Allies To Women with all the men in your life. On a positive note, check out this short video about a basketball coach in Iceland who is promoting gender equality by using female players as role models for young boys.
The Human Rights Team suggested several films related to the specific theme of the Campaign--sexual harassment/assault in the workplace. Two films about Anita Hill detail her accusations and the response thereto of sexual harassment in the workplace against now Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas: Anita, a fascinating documentary on the events surrounding the hearings, and Confirmation, a fictionalized version starring Kerry Washington. Anita Hill has also written a book about her experiences, Speaking Truth to Power. North Country, starring Charlize Theron, is a fictionalized account of the 1984 lawsuit that became the first major successful sexual harassment case in the United States. A disturbing but informative investigative documentary exploring the epidemic of rape of soldiers within the US military, The Invisible War, presents a look at more overt physical violence in the workplace. As you watch these and other films, consider this thought-provoking article on the messages about women we receive from the movies with thoughts from the author and various contributors.
With regard to sexual violence, UN Women is collecting stories of violence against women and girls through story-cards of eight words or less. If you have a related story to tell, consider sharing it with them. The lovely song, Quiet, by MILCK inspired the I Can’t Keep Quiet movement. Check out a cogent explanation from one woman about why she has not spoken out about the uncle who sexually abused her. The movement is currently collecting “stories about every day people in our community who have braved extraordinary circumstances to speak up.” If you have a related story, consider sharing it.
While it seems to women and girls that the parameters of sexual assualt should be clear, author Laurie Halse Anderson contends that boys recieve mixed messages about sexuality and that there is a lot they don't understand about sexual assualt. Anderson is the author of Speak, a 20-year-old novel that tells the story of a teenage girl dealing with the impact of being raped. In her article, "I've Talked With Teenage Boys About Sexual Assault for 20 Years, This is What They Still Don't Know," the author describes typical conversations she has had with boys over the last 20 years as she spoke about her book at high schools and colleges. Astonishingly, over the last two decades, many of the teenaged boys the author has talked to have told her that they don't believe the victim in the novel was raped. As they see it, she drank beer and danced with her attacker and, therefore, she must have wanted sex! They view the rape as a reasonable outcome!
On a different note, women aren’t the only ones who face backlash for speaking out about sexual assault. An article from the Atlantic describes the experience of Brooklyn Nine-Nine star and former NFL linebacker, Terry Crews, who testified in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee to advocate for H.R. 5578, the bill often referred to as the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights. The article relates Crews’ support of the #MeTooMovement, but more interestingly the man-shaming he received when he detailed his own sexual assault. Some responses to his testimony further illustrate pervasive toxic masculinity by expressing the idea that only “weak” men “allow” themselves to be victimized, similar to accusations leveled at women but with an extra patriarchal twist.
Switching to the topic of gender expectations and how they impact GBV, the Time article, "How to Raise a Sweet Son in an Era of Angry Men", perfectly describes the way girls are now (fortunately) encouraged to do anything, but boys are still not encouraged to feel anything and why that can lead to violence in men against women and others. The testimony of the iconic Fred Rogers to Congress many years ago about the importance of teaching kids to talk about emotions and learn what to do with angry feelings reconfirms the need for boys to be able to express feelings rather than containing them. Peter Langman, a psychologist and author of two books on school shootings, refers to "damaged masculinity" as a major factor in at least some mass shootings. A Washington Post interview with Langman discusses writings of some mass killers as evidence of this phenomenon. Voices of Men likewise has a website post addressing why boys rather than girls are mass shooters, concluding that the "Man Box" or toxic masculinity is to blame.
While males obviously enjoy many advantages and privileges in our culture, boys and men also face challenges imposed by gender expectations. We are all products of our upbringing and societal influences. Often parents unwittingly send unwanted messages to their children. An easy-to-read article, 9 Things Parents Do Every Day That Perpetuate Toxic Masculinity, provides a reminder of actions to avoid. A GQ magazine article about the need for an International Men's Day describes how confusing it is to be a man in today's world. A new book, The Boy Crisis, Why Our Boys are Struggling and What We Can Do About It, by Warren Farrell and John Gray provides a deeper dive inot this issue with intriguing topics such as "Why Do Marriages Fail in Countries that Succeed?" and "Raising a Balanced Son in an Out-of-Balance World." Check out The Good Men Project, which features articles providing support for men on topics in various categories such as sex and relationships, dads and families, gender and advice and confessions.