Robert Frank, in an interview reported in The Wealth Report section of The Wall Street Journal, recently spoke with Peter White, a counselor for wealthy parents and privileged children for over two decades. In his interview, entitled "What else to leave heirs, besides riches," Mr. White's premise is that it is not enough to leave our heirs wealth. First, we must teach them "how to better understand the adverse effects of wealth and to search for more meaningful lives." The same advice applies to all parents, not just those who enjoy higher income levels.
Mr. White has created a list of the ten things parents should provide for their children, which he calls "The 10 Elements of Care." He admits that the list is not complete, but it does provide some good points that are well worth considering. Before listing the ten points, Mr. White stated that "the first thing to be concerned with is loving children in a way that enables them to take charge of their lives as adults, so they can use wealth to enhance, not diminish, their lives."
The ten things parents should provide are:
- Necessaries.
- Affection.
- Affirmation and support.
- Boundaries.
- Guidance.
- Respect.
- Trust.
- Forgiveness.
- Religion or spirituality.
- Letting go.
His advice ends with a nuggest of wisdom: "So many entrepreneurs [parents] don't like what they see when their kids turn 21 and now they've got time to fix it; but, generally speaking, they shouldn't fix it. This is love: resisting the temptation to take care of people who should be taking care of themselves.
For the full interview, log on to www.wsj.com/wealth .
