by Kathleen Doherty, Co-Chair
There are some 75 million Baby Boomers and 10 million have become involved in
the activities and responsibilities associated with caring for an older parent.
Expatriate Americans now number around 4 million, and the number of us who are
long distance caregivers is unknown. I meet people every week who have parents
living in a different country, and I'm struck by some of the stories I hear.
Caring for our aging parents or other elderly relatives can begin slowly or can
come about suddenly after an illness or accident. We may be fortunate to have siblings in our home country, or unfortunate
that they may not live close to our parents in the old home town.
If you browse the internet and use words such as 'long distance care giving'
and 'caring from a distance' and 'elder care' or 'services for the elderly,'
you'll find a wellspring of information and an explosion of sites offering
articles on care options, housing choices, and the legal and financial aspects
of care giving. There are supportive and informative chat rooms at sites such
as www.aarp.com and the 'Seniors Forum' and
'Family Forum' at www.compuserve.com/communities .
An on-line site that I visit is www.eldercareteam.com
There are sites marketing care-related products such as emergency response systems,
medical equipment, and private home care services. With the advent of nurses
and social workers in private practice, there is a new profession being
trained and marketed: geriatric care
coaching. I have a nurse friend who offers her geriatric consulting services as
'rent a relative.'
How do you know if a parent needs help? Some changes happen so gradually that
they go unnoticed. Miscommunication can lead to frustration and anger. It can
be difficult for parents to ask adult children for help - after all, parents
help children, not the other way around. If you are in the information
gathering stage, just beginning to become aware that your parents are having
more health concerns, do start to organize. If you are noticing changes and are
worried about the well being of a parent, the time to organize is this moment.
Even with the challenges that accompany caring from a distance, there are ways
to maintain peace of mind. Like so many others, I am caring for my elderly
mother in the USA
while living abroad. A sudden serious illness had her in and out of hospital,
rehab, and nursing home for 10 months. She's been back living on her own in
Senior Housing for just over two years, and I've been care-commuting every 3 or
4 months. Next week my mother will have surgery for a malignancy. I've talked
to her every day this week. She already has a home health agency in place, so
her home visits will increase and I've asked that physical therapy be added
post operatively for a few weeks. As soon as school ends and I have a summer
holiday, I'll care-commute to Boston.
Do you have particular concerns or questions about long distance care giving?
Do you have information you'd like to share? Please contact us .
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