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Learning from Men in the Target Project GBV Prevention Group
Target Project Site Visit Attendees Meet with Men in the GBV Prevention Group
In April, 22 FAWCO/FAUSA members visited the Collateral Repair Project Community Center to witness firsthand the way CRP is using the funds from the FAWCO Target Project, Hope Beyond Displacement. One of my favorite aspects of HBD has always been the gender-based violence (GBV) awareness portion. CRP's GBV programs aim to empower women by promoting awareness of the emotional abuse, sexual violence, and exploitation that they too often face. By offering GBV awareness groups specifically for men and teenage boys, CRP works to prevent further instances of gender-based violence towards women through community building and education. These groups provide men and teenage boys with spaces to discuss experiences that are otherwise difficult to articulate and tools to process these experiences in a supportive environment.
The GBV program resonates with me, because it works with men and boys to get at the root of GBV--both cultural expectations and personal stresses. So, I was really eager to hear what the men from the GBV group at CRP thought about the program. Several of us were amazed at how open the men were with their feelings, especially in front of Western women. Later, CRP Executive Director Amanda Lane's husband, Samer, who leads the Men's Support Group, told me that the men find telling their stories to foreigners, especially women, to be very healing--they really appreciate others bearing witness to their pain! So, far from intruding, as we were concerned we might be doing, in fact, we were offering the men a gift. It struck me that women have many opportunities to talk to other women about their troubles, but men have very few outlets for their angst, since they generally don't share their feelings like women do.
I was curious as to how the men reacted to messages in the group about gender equity and women's rights. The men revealed that they originally joined the men's group primarily because they were bored and needed something to do. They are professional men--a pharmacist, a radiologist, an engineer--who needed to use their minds. One man broke my heart when he told us that he was desperate to occupy his time, as he is all alone--divorced with no children living in Jordan. His eyes radiated loneliness and pain, and he seemed about to cry.
Some men confessed that in the beginning they were resistant and skeptical to the idea of gender equity, but as they attended the group, they began to accept new ideas. It seems that the dramatic changes wrought in their lives by war and refugee status opened a door for changes in attitudes and beliefs as well. Without exception, the men revealed that the GBV group had helped them to communicate better and to learn what to do with the anger they had been keeping inside. Not only did the group lessen the chances that these men would take out their frustrations on their loved ones, but their own lives also improved as they learned how to deal with their emotions. That's what I call win-win for everyone.
For more information on the CRP Site Visit, check out the Target Bulletins and the Target Blog.
by Therese Hartwell
