Those you see, and those you don’t
by Mary Stange, AWC Bogotá
Intimate partner violence (IPV) is one of the most common and dangerous forms of violence against women and includes physical, sexual and emotional abuse and controlling behaviors by an intimate partner (WHO). The UN estimates that nearly one third of women worldwide will experience violence from an intimate partner at one time in their lives. This is, of course, a global average; many areas of the world experience higher rates of IPV than others. It is important to emphasize, however, that IPV occurs in every city, in every province, in every country of the world. But while we see that one in three women is likely to be a victim of intimate partner violence in her life, we must also talk about the women we don’t see. The women who choose to, or are coerced, not to report their abuses. According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime in the United States, but still remains one of the most chronically unreported crimes.
IPV vs DV
Before going any further, let’s talk terms. Some consider “intimate partner violence” and “domestic violence” (DV) to be interchangeable, but in fact there is a slight differentiation. Intimate partner violence refers to violent or controlling behavior by an intimate partner – i.e., a spouse, current partner or ex-partner. It includes acts of physical violence, sexual violence or aggression, stalking, emotional or psychological abuse, and controlling behaviors. Domestic violence is considered a broader category where the violence could be inflicted upon children or elders and can be perpetrated by other extended family members such as parents or in-laws.
Why doesn’t she just leave?
While an easy question to ask, it’s never that simple. Societal norms, cultural upbringings, and dependence are just some of the reasons women stay in abusive relationships. Others include:
-The social stigma surrounding divorce or marital unrest
- Lack of support from family
- Lack of trust in the legal process
- Lack of economic resources or dependency
- Fear of retaliation from their partner or extended family
- Concern for the safety of their children
- IPV is normalized as an acceptable way to handle inter-marital conflict
These fears are real and perpetuated by their abusers to coerce their victims to maintain their silence. They are caught in a web of terror where home is no longer a safe space and their voices are deemed uncredible by any authoritative figure.
What can be done?
Legislation is an easy fix for governments to claim they are battling this terrible crime against women. At least 144 countries have passed laws on domestic violence; however, even when laws exist, it does not mean they are always compliant with international standards or effective in their implementation. If a woman does not trust the police officer she reports to or the system to protect her from her abuser, she is in more trouble than when she started.
Ultimately, we must empower women to make their voices heard. During the #16Days to End Gender-Based Violence, we amplify this epidemic facing more than one third of women around the world. We must educate and inform not just young women that this behavior is not acceptable in a healthy relationship, but young men as well. We must support women’s organizations such as shelters, hotlines and makers of “go-bags.” We must make it known that women everywhere deserve love and respect and that their homes should not be considered war zones.
Resources:
World Health Organization:
Understanding and addressing violence against women: Intimate Partner Violence, WHO 2012
United Nations:
https://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/ending-violence-against-women/facts-and-figures
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
https://ncadv.org/statistics
Photo credit: Unsplash.com, Sydney Sims, @fairytailphotography